Coconut
by VictoriaGrant
Summary: Just a bit of drunken fun- J/C, just like always ;
1. Chapter 1

All Josef had wanted was a cup of hot milk- that and a good night´s sleep but when he entered the palace kitchen and found Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse bent over the kitchen table he instantly knew that even though he still was within a chance to get his milk he would have to forget about the sleep.

"What are you doing?"

He asked, trying to sound normal and nervously awaiting her reply.

She straightened up and just looked at him for a moment as though wondering what to answer, then she nodded at the table.

"I´m putting the frosting on Rupert´s birthday cake."

It was now Josef´s time to ponder his answer, finally he decided to simply ask her.

"You are making him a birthday cake?"

"I have made it already- it´s only the frosting" she corrected him, her voice cheerful but with the slight edge to it that told Josef that she was just as upset with her husband as he had expected.

Only that morning pictures of the king and his latest affair had been all over the papers and the queen had been remarkable in control all day long, even when Rupert Renaldi had arrived home in the afternoon and quietly requested to talk to her in his suite.

She had led the way up the staircase without further comment and the king had hastened after her, looking most ridiculous at his attempt to keep up with his wife´s pace.

Josef hadn´t seen Clarisse since then and to other outsiders it might have looked as though she had forgiven her husband, after all she was going through the trouble of baking a cake for his birthday but Josef wasn´t fooled, there had to be something more to this.

"I never knew you can bake" he stated while he poured milk into a pot and put it onto the stove, then he stepped over to the table and to his surprise saw that the cake the queen was covering with frosting looked as perfect as if it had come from one of Pyrus´s café´s.

"Baking was my mother´s hobby and I always begged to help her" Clarisse explained, now adding dainty marzipan roses to the cake.

Josef went back over to the stove to wait for his milk to heat up but still looked over to the table.

"Aren´t you curious?"

The queen asked without looking up from her work, a strange smile on her face as she added yet more roses.

"I´m discreet."

"How boring- come on, I know you want to know, why don´t you just ask?"

"If you know what I want to know you can just tell me" Josef shot back while he transferred the milk into a cup and put the pot into the sink.

"Fine, I´ll tell you- he begged me on to forgive him, it was really pathetic, I wish all those people who think he´s such a self assured person could have seen him."

"So did you forgive him?"

"Josef-" She finally looked up, her smile widening.

"I´ve spend three hours on that cake."

"That doesn´t have to mean anything, I know you."

"You do indeed" she said happily, her smile now real, not the cold, public smile she had had on her face earlier.

Josef drank some milk and took some cookies out of a tin before asking "So what is it with the cake?"

"Oh, there´s nothing wrong with the cake if that´s what you mean- it´s a perfectly fine coconut cake."

She sounded like a cat that had just swallowed a particular juicy bird and Josef burst out laughing.

"Coconut cake? My God, remind me to never get on the wrong side of you."

"Why, don´t you like coconut cake?"

She teased back, finally seeming to decide that her perfect cake wouldn´t get any more perfect and turning back towards Josef.

"Oh, I do" Josef chuckled, now he understood fully what had made Clarisse Renaldi miss out on her evening tea and relaxed hour of reading in front of the fireplace- King Rupert hated coconuts with a passion, if it had been up to him they most likely would have been declared as not agreeable to be served as food.

The king´s assistant made sure that everyone who hosted a dinner with the king present was informed about his despise for coconuts and now Clarisse had baked a coconut cake for her husband´s birthday, a cake that was perfectly representable and since it was made by the queen herself would be the first thing served to the king the next day without anyone being aware of what it was.

"It´ll be such a blast" the queen sounded dreamy and Josef laughed even harder, she was so wonderful, especially when being sarcastic.

"You know, I have a feeling that Rupert won´t share your mirth" Clarisse mused as she reached into the cookie tin and withdrew a chocolate chip cookie.

"No, most likely not."

"If he eats the whole slice I might consider to forgive him, in a month or so."

"How generous of you."

Josef put his empty mug away and looked at his watch while popping another cookie into his mouth.

"It´s late, Your Majesty, you should consider going to bed."

"Oh I don´t know, I don´t think I can sleep right now- you go to bed, you must be exhausted, it was a horrible long day."

"I don´t like the idea of leaving you down here alone" Josef frowned and the queen´s expression softened.

"All right, if you wait until I have put the cake away and wrote some instructions where it is to be placed on the table tomorrow, you can walk me back to my rooms."

"Can I help you with anything?"

"That´s not necessary, I can manage, besides it´s better if I have done it all alone- just in case Rupert chokes on this cake."

She didn´t sound amused anymore now, rather bitter.

"I don´t think that is likely" Josef called after her when she disappeared in the storage room.

"I know that- what a shame, he so deserves it."

She closed the door behind herself and let the way over to the staircase that led out of the basement kitchen and back up into the entrance hall of the palace.

"Now seriously, are you going to forgive him?"

"I have forgiven him countless times, how often am I supposed to do it?"

They were climbing the stairs now, Josef´s hand on the queen´s back like usually, a small gesture neither of them thought about anymore.

"You will have to do it again eventually, you´re married to him after all" Josef reminded the queen who stopped walking and leaned against the banisters instead.

"Why does that mean I have to forgive him? I wouldn´t mind being angry with him for a few more years- so do you really planning to go back to bed now?"

"Aren´t you?"

"No- I think I´ll have a drink- or two- care to join me?"

"You are asking me to get drunk with you?"

Josef inquired, feeling puzzled but the queen nodded cheerfully.

"Yes, I am- so what do you say, we could drink to Rupert´s good health, it´s after midnight already."

"You are starting to scare me."

"I´m sorry about that- nothing some really good Scotch can´t cure, I hope?"

"Probably not."

"Good- so come along, there´s a bottle with our name on it."


	2. Chapter 2

_addlogcon: Hehe, yeah, hell has no fury and so on- thanks a lot for reviewing, hope you´ll enjoy the next part too :D !_

_Regina-sp: Thank you very much, I´m sorry it took so long but here´s chapter two now._

_Prettycrazy: Hehe, thanks, of course I will, later, first I want to play with them a little more ;)_

_Captain Weirdo: LOL, yeah, it´s probably not his fault- I like writing nice Rupert but in here I needed a really upset Clarisse in a oh-what-the-heck- mood :D_

_beMMADfabulous: Awww, thank you :D No, that´s all right- but I don´t want him to have an anaphylactic shock, I just want him to be SO mad ;) OK, next part!_

_green dame: Yeah, she is :D Sorry, I know it takes ages at the moment but I´m in the midst of graduation, it´s rather busy with revising and taking tests._

_JUJUChick16: Yes, she is... Dreamy, lol- naw, men- well, she´s bound to have some fun, I´ll see to that ;)_

_risingdancer: Second part of the question answered in the next part and the one after that, first in the fourth I suppose ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!_

Clarisse Renaldi: Aw, thank you so much- I´m glad I could help you :D Hope you are not TOO stressed out, Darling, I´ll post the next part now, hope you´ll enjoy! 

_So thanks everyone for the great reviews, please do keep reading and reviewing, this one really is a bit- weird- but fun- love you all, you´re the best! :D _

"You were right- I´m starting to feel cured already" Josef complemented the excellent Scotch the queen had poured into his glass.

"So you aren´t scared of me anymore?"

Clarisse asked with a bat of her long eyelashes as she smiled up at him from where she was sitting on her sofa.

"No, I don´t think I am- tell me, is the cake the only nice surprise you have in store for tomorrow or are there going to be other dislikable presents for the king as well?"

"I don´t think he will be up to paying much attention to anything else after that cake- but no, I didn´t buy him anything disgusting- though maybe I could think of something yet- like inviting that charming lady he spend so much quality time with this weekend to the party."

Josef looked up from his glass.

"Don´t get me wrong but are you really upset about this or are you rather angry that he humiliated you?"

He watched her take another sip of her drink as she pondered the question.

"I suppose the second rather than the first- you know how it is, I´m not deeply in love with him, just like he isn´t in love with me- but we made commitments, we decided to do this together and I´m really trying while he fools around."

She reached for the bottle once more, pouring herself another generous shot, then held the bottle out to Josef.

"Go on, if we keep up this pace we´ll never finish it."

"I thought finishing it was a joke" he told her while taking the bottle from her hand and putting it onto the table next to his glass.

Their fingers briefly touched and Josef felt a jolt of excitement run through him, she was too close, both physically and emotionally and it was´t a good thing, at least not under the given circumstances.

She was watching him now, her big blue eyes thoughtful.

"I wonder what it would be like" she mused and Josef looked up at her from where he was sitting on the floor in front of the fire.

"What what would be like?"

She slid down from the sofa to sit next to him on the carpet, the firelight reflected in her bright eyes, her royal blue silk robe bunching around her, allowing Josef a glimpse on the lacy white nightgown she was wearing underneath.

"Us- if we were married, would it still be like this? The tension, the excitement- the passion? Or would we simply get bored and it would all fade away into nothingness and we would be as unhappy as we are now- I´d really like to know."

She looked away from him, into the fire as Josef tried to get back in control of his emotions, she had shocked him completely and she didn´t even seem aware of it, she was sipping her Scotch and watching the fire as though she had just informed him about tomorrow´s weather.

Finally his silence seemed to have lasted too long for her and she turned back towards him.

"Is there anything wrong?"

"No- Yes- I mean you just said- you can´t say things like that."

He finished lamely and was confused when she started to giggle.

"Oh, can´t I?"

"No!"

"Why not? It´s not as though you were unaware of it, what use is there to deny it?"

"We have to deny it, there is no way to-" He was silenced by her lips suddenly pressed to his without warning as her arms wrapped around his neck, the sweet warmth of her body overwhelmed him, melted against him.

He tried to speak but she wouldn´t let him break the kiss, instead she took advantage of his parted lips and deepened the kiss, her tongue brushing against his, playfully inviting him into a battle for dominance.

He couldn´t hold back any longer, he closed his arms around her back possessively and pulled her closer to him while lowering her backwards onto the plush carpet.

She let him dominate her, offering no signs of resistance when his hands impatiently opened the sash on her robe and parted the heavy silk while he was still kissing her forcefully.

He was waiting for her to stop him, to tell him that she was sorry and that this was a mistake, she wasn´t drunk enough to lose control over her actions yet but she didn´t stop him, she rather encouraged him by pressing her body up into his roaming hands.

Of course Josef had wanted her all along, not only that but he also was desperately in love with her, yet he would never have dreamed of actually getting the opportunity to fulfill his fantasies.

He finally broke the kiss, gasping for air as his heart pounded violently against his rips.

Clarisse was lying underneath him, clad in delicate, almost translucent white lace, her hair tousled and her face flushed, her lifting and falling rapidly.

She licked her lips, sending another jolt of desire through Josef.

"Are you chickening out?"

She asked, her voice low and sultry, her eyes had darkened and Josef briefly closed his eyes, it took all his self control to not simply forget about anything but the woman in his arms right now.

"Clarisse-" She didn´t wait for him to finish but started to pull his shirt out of his black jeans.

"Don´t tell me that we can´t do this and don´t ask me if I am sure that I want this, it´s a waste of time- we both need this, now stop arguing and get out of your damn shirt."

He stared back at her, speechless, he couldn´t believe she was talking like this and yet it slowly began to sink in that Queen Clarisse Renaldi was just doing her very best to seduce him and that she had just told him that she wouldn´t take no for an answer.


	3. Chapter 3

She had unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off of his shoulders before Josef had even realized it.

Sensing that he was about to say something she shook her head warningly as her hands ran up his arms.

"You usually don´t have so much trouble to know when it´s time for talking and when it´s time for acting, have you" she teased him, now digging her fingernails into his chest and Josef groaned as he tried desperately to control himself.

He caught her hands in his and she sighed, finally drawing back slightly.

"I know what you are thinking but it´s not like that- yes, I am rather upset about Rupert and this girl but that has nothing to do with this and you should know it."

"How?"

He pulled her back up into a sitting position, keeping his hands on her upper arms as he looked into her blue eyes.

"How am I supposed to know that, you never show me, you throw me little bits of affection now and then but that´s it, as soon as you stop needing comfort you turn back into a block of ice."

"Now that´s not a very nice thing to say" she told him in a mock hurt voice, batting her eyelashes.

"Could you be serious for just one moment?"

"No- I´m too drunk already to be serious right now, I can be serious in the morning, right now I just want to sleep with you, do you think that could somehow be arranged?"

Josef couldn´t help but chuckle, she was so deliciously shocking if she wanted to.

"You know damn well I can´t resist you- I have wanted you too long to say no to you and you´re shamelessly taking advantage of it."

She leaned forward towards him, granting him a most perfect look at her cleavage.

"How about you shamelessly taking advantage of my drunken state then?"

She whispered against his lips before kissing him again and this time Josef allowed himself to get swept away by her passion, kissing her back just as intensely.

It was him who pushed her back down onto the floor and she moaned when his lips left her´s and travelled down her neck.

"Now that´s the spirit- don´t you dare to stop again."

"Don´t worry, you can be very convincing if you want to" he mumbled against her soft skin, he wasn´t strong enough to push her away and he didn´t even really want to, this was all he had ever dreamed about and even if she told him afterwards that this would never happen again at least he would have this one time to remember for the rest of his life.

He explored her perfectly curved body while his lips brushed against her shoulder and to his delight she was like wax in his hands, the usually so self assured woman reduced to writhing helplessly underneath his touches.

The silence was only broken by their heavy breathing and the queen´s little sighs and gasps when Josef´s hands or lips found another sensitive spot on her flawless skin.

At some point Josef straightened up long enough to pull Clarisse´s nightshirt up over her head, he was rewarded by the most glorious sight imaginable and she blushed fiercely under his intense gaze.

"What a sight" he breathed as he slowly traced her collarbone with his fingertips, feeling the queen shiver.

She was panting now, her eyes sparkling in the light of the fire, her lips red and swollen from his kisses.

"Stop staring at me, Josef" she commanded with a hint of her usual fierceness in her voice, causing Josef to smile amusedly.

"As you wish, Madam."

He kissed her again while unbuttoning his trousers, then quickly undressed himself completely before taking Clarisse back into his arms.

"I never knew it could be like that."

The queen sighed dreamily as she lay in Josef´s arms in front of the dying fire.

"If I had known I would have seduced you much earlier."

Josef shook his head in disbelief while he kept stroking Clarisse´s hair.

"You are truly amazing."

"In a good sense?"

"I havn´t quite decided on that yet- I´m not complaining either way, though."

"Well, that is something- the fire will be out soon, shall we take this elsewhere?"

"Elsewhere?"

Josef asked, puzzled- he hadn´t even thought about Clarisse asking him to stay with her, she might be seriously angry at her husband but she was still married and would remain that way.

"Like to the bedroom- unless you rather want to stay here and freeze."

"I was rather thinking you would go to bed alone."

She turned in his arms and looked up at him, a frown on her face.

"Do you want to leave or were you merely assuming I would make you?"

"Well, if we try and be realistic I should- what if one of your maids walks in on us or worse your husband decides to try and apologize once more?"

"I´m not in the mood for being realistic, I´m too happy- and too drunk, come to think of it and I´d really like you to stay."

"Clarisse, what do you think would happen-"

"Frankly, I don´t give a damn."

Josef couldn´t help but laugh at the quote.

"You might have read gone with the wind just a few times to often."

"Probably- now let´s stop fooling around and go to bed before I fall asleep right here."

Josef awoke to the heavenly feeling of Clarisse´s soft lips brushing against his.

"Good morning" she whispered, slowly tracing her fingernails along his collarbone and making him shiver.

"It´s a very good morning indeed" he replied while pulling her fully into his arms before deepening the kiss.

They were soon lost in each other once more, neither of them wanting to think about the complications their night together doubtlessly would cause.

Finally Josef looked at the small clock on the bedside table and gently nudged Clarisse who was about to fall asleep on his chest.

"We have to get up, your maids will be here soon and I´d rather not explain why I´m in your rooms at this time."

The queen straightened up, a teasing smile on her face.

"You mean you´d rather not explain while you are in my bed and while you are naked."

"Obviously- so let´s get up."

"Oh all right" Clarisse yawned discretely, then rolled over and got out of the bed.

"Are you going to be in the ballroom later?"

She asked as she reached for a silk robe.

"Of course I will- I wouldn´t want to miss the fun, would I."

Clarisse laughed, her blue eyes sparkling.

"Too true."

She disappeared into her bathroom and Josef sat up, stretching before getting up from the bed.

As he looked around the room the reality of what he had done hit him full force- it had actually happened, he had slept with Clarisse, with the queen- God, if this ever reached the king he most certainly would be dead, literally.

Josef slipped out of the room to retrieve his clothes from the living room, taking Clarisse´s with him as he went back into the bedroom.

"Clarisse?"

"Yes?"

Came her voice from the bathroom.

"Do you know if Genovia has something like the Secret Service?"

The bathroom door opened and Clarisse looked at him, aghast.

"Secret Service? You mean like in the James Bond movies?"

"Well, yes, something like that."

She looked at him for a moment, then broke into a fit of giggles.

"Are you scared of Rupert?"

"Is that so obvious?"

"Painfully so- don´t worry, I suppose he would thank you that you have relieved me of my energy, he´s much more scared of me at the moment than you are of him."

"You think that´s possible?"

"Most certainly."


End file.
